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| Dolce Far Niente - John William Waterhouse |
I have often thought myself to be a
Jack-of-all-Trades, the silent "Master of None", always quite audible
to my mind. I was an all rounder at school (except sports which I forgoed as
soon as I realised that my lack of co-ordination, read concentration, meant
that I would have to work extra hard to be just average.
Since leaving University I have walked through my
professional career believing that I am decent at most things I try my hand to,
but not especially exceptional at anything. I have since realised that this is
perhaps an ingrained mental belief in “not being good enough” that finds safety
in hippity hopping between skills and completing them with passable ability
rather than stepping out of the safe box and owning brilliance in something or
other.
It is a classic trait of insecurity and something I am now trying to rectify. In leaving a traditional, full time, salaried job, I am having to learn to fight against all these learnt instincts. My life and career is now what I make of it and I need to believe I am the best person to do X, Y, Z.
This is especially true in the novel and play that I am writing. For the best friends of Jack-of-all-Trades are Unfinished Projects, Procrastination and the skill of Wasting Time.
The amount of times I have said I wanted to do something whether that be enter a particular writing competition, join a rowing club, a drama club, do the three peaks challenge etc and not completed it are innumerable. Sometimes it has taken me three hours to make a phone call to, for example, the dentist to make an appointment. My talent in time wasting is exemplary.
It is a classic trait of insecurity and something I am now trying to rectify. In leaving a traditional, full time, salaried job, I am having to learn to fight against all these learnt instincts. My life and career is now what I make of it and I need to believe I am the best person to do X, Y, Z.
This is especially true in the novel and play that I am writing. For the best friends of Jack-of-all-Trades are Unfinished Projects, Procrastination and the skill of Wasting Time.
The amount of times I have said I wanted to do something whether that be enter a particular writing competition, join a rowing club, a drama club, do the three peaks challenge etc and not completed it are innumerable. Sometimes it has taken me three hours to make a phone call to, for example, the dentist to make an appointment. My talent in time wasting is exemplary.
