The 12 Best Presents

I was going to write a post about My Forever Christmas Gifts; a typical seasonal salivate over "things I have always wanted" or would feel better and more valued as a person if I had. The list was a lusty, lingering, drooling dive into every Christmas gift guide produced by every single broadsheet, glossy magazine and/or blog/Instagram account of whatever twenty/thirty-something is stripping their unattainable life bare this week and making us all believe in the magic of the x-brand-life. The beautiful list included things like a Burberry Mac or monogrammed scarf, huge bottles of Jo Malone perfume (plus matching candle), Chanel bag, Liz Earle's entire range.. Alex Monroe jewelry. There were more considered forever items in there too... Books, flowers, art... (My one most favourite thing ever would be a personalised art piece from God's Own Junk Yard- just in case you wondered)

But I didn't write that piece because recently I have been thinking about what this blog is meant to be and how to make it better and more true to me and the place it came from when I started writing it. And really despite the title, it was about life-enrichment and happiness - mine and hopefully those reading as well as wider issues in the world that would affect those things. So whether I'm writing about a play, a bar or off on some feminist rant. I want it to be for a good thing; to make people happy, to make them think or just to make myself think.

So that decadent post.. That wouldn't be me thinking about anything except things I cut out of magazines in my early teens. It would also encourage my inclination to sheath difficult considerations and decisions with retail blow outs and getting high on NEW NEW NEW. Plus there are other blogger who do it farrr better than I would.

So instead I'm writing a different kind of gift list. This list is what I think humans really want for Christmas and for life. I've though about what I want, what I think my friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances and just general humanity would really want if they looked deep inside and weren't afraid to ask. Best of all, to give these things are mostly free or if not the cash cost is minimal. Mostly it's your commitment. Also, perhaps try to give the ones that don't come most naturally to you.. Because then it is a true gift, an effort made - there's a reason they give a prize for that at school. Let me know what you think and if there is anything you would add... I hope, sincerely that it is not too much of schmaltzy, American vibe.. But sue me if it is as it is Christmas and I love Miracle on 34th Street.

1) #LOLs

The Internet is awash with things that people have created to make each other laugh and ask anyone and one of the qualities that they value in others above all is a shared sense of humour.. So why do we not make the most of that EVERY day.

I'm not talking about the brash laddish humour performed in a group situation to win banter points, but the deep hearty laugh, the shared giggle that we can bestow on those we know the best.

One of my best friends has this gift, she always just wants to make people laugh, even when it's just the two of you and she laughs more when she sees that lift in another, plus she thinks about the individual and what they'd find amusing. 

I don't think about this all the time, I've never thought it my duty to lift the spirits of another in that way. I am more of a dry sarcastic comment type and if I have a day where I feel the bloody world is on my shoulders I wait for another to pick up the humour. 

But give the gift of a LOL or two and you'll find that you're lightened too.

2) Time

Who has enough of it, really. I don't, no one I know seems to. Every one would like more of it.

Help someone with a task so that it takes them half the time or offer to do something for them, so they are gifted some time to do something else that they really love to do.

Babysit, do their laundry, take a pile of work off their desk. Because giving your time really, sweetie, it's the most powerful currency you have. Realise that, for you and others.

3) A Conversation / Listen

Some people are good listeners in life, they have the knack to sit back and let someone else really talk without interruption or fear or worry that you've used up all your time on this round. Become one of those people, listen, think and consider what someone else has said without waiting to put your two pence in about your hella-fucking day or how you COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH/FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME. I'm not saying don't consider it offer your opinion, but really listen trust yeah, what are they actually saying to you...

4) A Skill

We all have them, whether we know it or not, yet how often do we give them to others without waiting for a payment or a favour in return. Without giving our "gift" because we know we'll get something back.

Some people know everyone and chat well and can introduce people to others who may help them/love them/employ them.. Some people can build or restore or fix things. Some can write, some can paint, some can occupy children for hours on end. Maybe you know about gardening or you've travelled to a destination they are going to. Or you can organise or file stuff or clean, you take great photographs, can shape eyebrows, play the guitar or wrap presents like they've been done professionally.

Whatever you can do. I'm sure someone else can't and would be grateful for it.

5) Ego Boost

Browsing Pinterest the other day I came across an affordable present hack board and one of the things on it was a series of sealed letters. There were six I believe.. alll for one person and each of them had something written in the address field. Open me when you feel lonely/when you don't like yourself/when you are tired/when you hate the day. Someone had carefully constructed each letter for an individual ready to make them feel better, to appreciate themselves and praise them for their decisions when they most need it. A beautiful thing for someone you love..

Yah, you London hipsters might have trouble with this one, thinking it the most distinctly non-British of things, to put out onto the page. But it is your voice remember and you can include as much sarcasm and fucking swearing as you want as long as it does the job...

Or you don't have to do this. But just boost someone's ego in some way. You'll know the best way I'm sure if maybe they'd fucking laugh at you if you gave them a bunch of letters. Trust them with a task, ask for their help or say nice things about them to someone else. Anything that tickles their inner human spirit, maybe focus on something that they're not often told.

6) Sleep...

A duvet day, an extra couple of hours. A more peaceful way to fall asleep. A candle, a playlist, a story. Use money or don't. But anyone is grateful for extra sleep.

7) Pay Attention to What They Care About

I know we do this with bought gifts once a year but maybe it would be better to do it more regularly with though and small actions. A conversation, an extra question, a photograph, a link, time out of your schedule to learn about something/someone that to be honest you couldn't really give a shit about. Let them talk, go with them to something or organise a trip. Remember the names they told you about, the boring situation, the new thing that usually you would glaze over during in conversation. Make an effort to care.

8) Reliability or Routine

A much underestimated gift is this. People think about it mostly in terms of older people or jobs, (Must visit Granny every last Sunday of the month etc) but it is a powerful thing. The sheer stability and therefore joy we can feel when we can count on something is immeasurable. Many people don't have it, if you know someone who doesn't, maybe try to give them that.

It is easy to promise and cancel, harder to commit. Think about what you in your life know you can rely on at all times and think about how you can give that to someone who has less.

9) A Chance

Harder to define. Some sit on the edge of the maybe or the someday or the it might happen, waiting for a chance. Some have no chances and never have. If you have any power to give someone a small chance in life, whether that is a job, a room, a place on a team or a chance as a friend or lover. Life can be made on the little chances babe.. It can.

10) A Little Push.. / Encouragement

You Know those people who always seem on the edge, who don't get off their arses and fix their problems or somehow definitely can't on their own.

If you have any strength to be a bossy fucking bastard and make them or the patience to be a sensitive attendant who can gently guide them in the right direction, then do it. Because if they get anywhere or feel like they've achieved anything, you will reap the gifts right back.

11) Respect

Sometimes I think we forget to respect the people we care about. If they have been in our lives for a long time, it is easy to box them and to dismiss their little quirks and opinions. But respecting someone else for who they are, for what they say or do is such a dual pleasure and people bloom under it. If you find someone difficult to respect sometimes, take a step back, breathe and think about where they are coming from and what you can respect them for.

None of us are better than anyone else, even if we all have different gifts.

12) Consideration / Love

Perhaps the most saccharine of the list and the hardest to define. Consideration is not simply how we would want to be treated - for we are all different are we not - but how they would.

Love is unconditional, but if you love someone, it's the time of year to consider if you are doing all the things on this list for them. I love a lot of people, but I can be a selfish dick sometimes, far too concerned with constantly assessing my own happiness and life goals. So I'm making it my mission over this festive period and into 2015 to consider those I love and if I'm doing everything I can to show them how fucking grateful I am to have them in my life.

Merry Christmas Internet, hope I didn't choke you with the maudlin sentimentality of it all...

Love, Please Read the Signs...

Have you ever had one of those days that pricks you, pinches you, pokes you around; life's not slapping you in the face, it's just cruelly teasing you like a small child would another, pushing your boundaries until you feel like crumbling up into the foetus position and weeping with the fatigue of it. I just had one of those days/24 hours and I hated it. I hated it mostly because my usual mantra is to rise above the angst and the first world problems and the stupid day-to-day shit. I like to play the part of positive and enthused even when I don't feel that even a little bit. Because I used to be a bit of a melancholy, cynic at times and I did not enjoy it one little bit.

But today.. Aah today got to me and I did not enjoy it. I wanted to cry and complain and beat my fists, beat away the feeling of not being good enough. Because surely it could not be my fault this prickly day. However, following a little bit (a lot) of thought and deep breaths, I realised this prickling, this poking by life is just it giving me a little shove, a little push, a little bit of a hard time..

Move it's telling me, move. There are things you're not happy with. You're ignoring some things. PAY ATTENTION to the signs, to yourself. 

If we listened to ourselves and our reactions to things daily, we would have a clear map of where we would be happiest going (joy is in the journey, you will always be on one). We'd have Google maps and City Mapper and Uber metaphorically routed out in our brains.

Why are we resisting, why are we angry, why are we upset? Think about yourself love, think about what you want.

When I get in these muddles, I try to think  like I'm talking to my best friend whom I love and respect and not myself who I often berate. It's part of what Zen Buddhism teaches really, be mindful, be mindful of yourself and the moment. Don't over react or rage or squash it. Zen teaches you to have a still mind. A balanced mind at all times, because external circumstances should not affect your happiness if you are truly balanced inside.

But whilst we are trying to gain a balanced life, a happy mind, sometimes we need to give into the tears and the anger and the frustration; let it roll over you, indulge in it for just a little bit and then asks yourself why and move forward... Make decisions. Eschew practicality for a moment and then think about what it is you really want out of life and if your current path is taking you there.

Because love, you see, as countless cliches claim, life is now and you are living it and if you have these things that we should all be grateful for every day, namely food, warmth, clothes, lack of real fear, literacy, anyone who loves you- thanks to Marc and Angel for that link- but if you have these things.. you don't need be facing daily taunting and teasing and struggles with yourself.

Put an ear to the ground, think and listen and make a new choice tomorrow. Change things that need to be changed to make you happy, because only you have the power to, love. Only you.

Stop Schizing Out You Retard: The #ThinkSpeakMind Mantra

Why is Derogatory Language Towards the Mentally Ill and Disabled Still Accepted?

In the media we are constantly hearing about instances of misuse of language that offends. Whether this is racist insults or homophobic slanders, misuse of words such as rape, sexist jibes etc; any celebrity or politician or public persona that slips is plastered all over the front page and decimated by the twitter-sphere whether their use of this language was purposeful or not. 

I abhor cruel, offensive language. I also think people should be careful when they are using powerful words e.g. rape as a metaphor or to enhance a feeling. Case in point Charlize Theron or Brooks Newmark. It trivialises the awful reality of the word. Language is powerful and we should be aware of how we use it. The point I am raising is why we do not place the same value on slang used to describe those with mental disorders, learning difficulties or those who are mentally ill. 

In the last six months, I have often heard each of the below used at least once informally and unashamedly to describe situations:

- She is such a schizo, she was fine one minute ago 

(someone who changes mood quickly)

- Stop having an epi, we'll sort it 

(To someone who is getting very wound up) - Epilepsy is not even a mental illness or learning difficulty, it's a neurological disorder but it is used in a similar vein

- God, I'm such a retard / so autistic

(after making a stupid mistake / being a bit oddly numerate)

- You're such a spaz

(to someone who has tripped clumsily) 

- I'm going mental, seriously

(a lot and I've been guilty of this one as casual adjective)

- You look fucking rexy, amazing 

(to someone who has lost weight)

- Are you being a bit "special"

(to someone who is struggling to complete a task)

- Can you wipe the surface after, sorry I'm so OCD

(after cooking or using a kitchen)

I could go on. The thing Is people don't react to these things like they would if I said "You look so gay", or "Stop being such a big girl" (said to a man) or any other offensive comment.

Why is this? Having grown up with a sister with significant learning difficulties, I have spent my life wincing every time people casually say retarded. I usually don't react angrily to it because I don't believe that it helps -(unless someone is saying something offensive about people with learning difficulties)- if it's used casually, I tend to ignore it. At the very most, I'll ask them softly not to use that language. I understand that it has become a colloquialism, however I think now is the time to change that.

People who are mentally ill or mentally disabled (very different things too obviously, I'm aware), who have the conditions that the words are referring to are not being stupid or overreacting or behaving in an unnecessary way like the slang insinuates. It is not a choice, nor does it make them any less than anyone else. I know that the world still struggles to understand mental health, learning difficulties and those that are not "normal" but I believe we really we need to lead by example and change this way of speaking as we have done for racist, sexist or homophobic vocabulary. It is important.

This is not about being politically correct, but being humans*. Because to understand and to learn and to empathise, we need to adjust our expression and remember that like everybody, people with these conditions are sisters, brothers, fathers, mothers, friends, colleagues and they have sisters, fathers, brothers, fathers, mothers, friends and colleagues. In fact most people know someone who has a mental illness or know someone who has been born with a mental disability.

I'm starting a movement, not of blame and finger pointing but of re-education and I will be using the hashtag #thinkspeakmind

When I talk about my sister, I generally say she has Special Needs because she does, but she's also just special and I mean that in the wonderful sense of the word, of being an amazing, incredible individual who just happens not to have the same abilities as others. Seeing and hearing that word used derogatorily is like a burn every time.

I've also known people who've suffered with mental illness and again the casual use of language does not help and in some cases can cause shame in talking to anyone about it.

#ThinkSpeakMind

Spread it about, tell me your stories and help people to understand.

*I've most probably slipped up in my reference to something even in this short post..

What Future for Words?

This is the first in a series of posts Ì have written on the Cheltenham Literary Festival. I tried to blog #live-ish from the event, but bearing in my mind I'm rubbish at filing my blog copy when I have a laptop and three free hours...trying to do it between talks and book signings and dinners was a little difficult.. and I was a little lazy.

The What Future For Words? debate was sponsored by Warwick University and asked just asked that questions and furthermore, what the challenges and opportunities facing a new generation of writers in the shifting cultural landscape were. 

Chair Roly Keating of the British library was joined by writer, AL Kennedy, publisher Gail Rebuck, spoken-word artist Amerah Saleh and games writer and novelist Rebecca Levene to discuss the future of writing in the UK.

Six Things to Learn from Maya Angelou

A week ago last Sunday, I went to the Royal Festival Hall to attend an event put on as part of the London Literature Festival; Maya Angelou: A Celebration. It was a beautiful evening with actors, speakers and notable guests reading parts of her autobiographies and poems, as well as talented musicians performing some of the hymns and songs that she did.

For an English Literature graduate, with a minor in history including a lot of the American Civil Rights movement, I came very late to the gifts of Maya Angelou. I first discovered her through my incessant love of other peoples soundbites - namely quotes- about two years ago and just loved everything that had been attributed to her, so I read up and I read her and it's safe to say she was a word and mentality guru.

Her biography reads pretty stark and also shows incredible resourcefulness and talent.... Born Marguerite Annie Johnson on April 4, 1928, she was raped aged eight by her mother's boyfriend, was then mute for almost seven years and went on to work as a cook, madam and sometimes prostitute, nightclub dancer and performer, opera singer, coordinator for the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, and journalist in Egypt and Ghana during the decolonisation of Africa. She was an actor, writer, director, and producer of plays, movies, and public television programmes. Today we talk of multi-tasking, but she was a pragmatic polymath, a Renaissance Woman of the highest degree. Here is what we can learn from her life, work and treatment of others

Teh Internet is Serious Business at the Royal Court

Hi my name's Jessica and I'm an addict. My drug is the Internet in all its forms. It's Twitter and Facebook, Flickr and Instagram, LinkedIn, Google, Wikipedia and Pinterest. It's blogging, it's tumblr.  It's memes and virals, YouTube videos and Buzzfeed. I binge and purge on blogs and share, share, share. I spew my soul on Blogspot, I repeat code with glee. A share, a like, a follow, a retweet and I tremble with pleasure. Take me away from my phone or some sort of virtual hug and my fingers itch, knees weak, arms are sweaty. Take me away from my wifi and GPS and I know not where I am.... 

Seriously though, the Internet, is a serious business and most of us know it, though we regularly ignore it. Through the collective efforts of Tim Price's script and Hamish Pirie’s production, the Teh Internet is Serious Business at The Royal Court, tries to illustrate where we are with the www. 

The 1975 at Alexandra Palace

Fans of the 1975 seem to me to be the hipster versions of fans of One Direction with a larger straight male contingent. It was the men that made me laugh most of all to be honest as ALL of them seemed to have modeled their image on that of the charismatic lead singer's, all undershaves and piercings and black. All of the fans at Wednesday night's gig were at least five years younger than me. Oestrogen and teenage lust was thick in the air.

And what of Matty Healy the pierced, pied piper of these teenage dreams. Well he is a true delight. The 1975 bounced through their 75 minute set with verve and true Northern class.

Why I'm Doing Sober for October

I know you probably don't really care, but I feel the need to say anyway. I certainly wouldn't care if it was me and someone else was doing it. I'd probably just think that they were being bloody boring and if they wanted to give money to charity, why didn't they just do it instead of forcing their sober personality on their poor unsuspecting friends and acquaintances. Turns out that wino friend ain't so fun without a couple of g&ts...

I definitely wouldn't sponsor anyone and likewise I wouldn't expect anyone to sponsor me. Sure it's for a good cause but why should I give someone money for not drinking? That's a personal choice and not like you are climbing a mountain or doing a marathon or what not. You're just laying off the vino. Big woop-de-doo. I'd probably prefer if you were just consistently drunk anyway, it would amuse me more. 

But I'm doing it. Macmillan Cancer Research's "Sober for October" campaign planted the seed and it has rooted and sprouted and here I am on the road of 31 days without London's Prozac and here's why. (aside from the obvious benefit to the WONDERFUL charities I'm supporting, soz Macmillan, I'm spreading the lovveee and all the below charities are fab - see links below to see what they do xx.)

Bender September

First there was the summer of pubs and Pimms and mid-week gins. Al-fresco = el drinko and there's just too many options. Then there was a two week holiday in Crete at the beginning of September full of Greek spirit. Then there was a well-oiled business's trip to Japan followed by days and days of social occasions right up until last weekend and then I stopped and promptly got flu. So sure my body is crying out for this

My Bank Balance Doesn't Want to Sponsor My Drinking Habit Anymore

It's not looking happy (see previous paragraph) with my endless shenanigans. It's basically telling me that it only wants to pay for necessities and occasional wholesome treats and not double Hendricks G&Ts for me and five friends in London's marked up establishments. Look at me, it insists, I'm so skinny right now (unlike you) and I need to get a bit of meat on me before you insist that it's Christmas and you want more sponsor money. I mean really.. Rude. 

To Do: Sort Life 

There's a few things in my life right now that really need sorting, that need some decisions to be made, actions to be taken, the most significant life-admin, possibly. 

I have found myself not to be the most productive when a) hungover or b) planning my life admin around my jam-packed social life. I feel that losing the sauce for a month will propel me in to action, as the thought of a six hour pub session when everyone else is pissed and I'm nursing an orange juice and trying to make sense of dull drunkards conversation is not appealing. 

Health

I haven't been to the gym in at least three months and I have certainly piled on some holiday weight. I need to fight that bitch with all my sober strength and the arse-kicking endorphin loving, clean-eating version of me is not usually present at the same time as lush wine-o-clock me. So one of them has to get packing for a while while the balance realigns...  The end result will be back to moderation in all things...

Just to Prove I Can

Four years ago I didn't drink for 40 days and it wasn't too much of a stretch, didn't really affect my life at all... When I thought about that recently it scared me, hence the need to do it immediately. 

A lot of people will assume I can't do it too and therefore I would like to stick my middle finger up and prove I still have the will power of Mother Theresa when I want to.

A lot of other people may think that this really is not a big deal, no alcohol for a month, but if you are a young(ish) professional in media, in London, with my social circle unless you hate booze... trust me it is no mean feat...

My page is here. 

I don't expect anyone to donate as I said, I bloody wouldn't. I plan to give ten pounds every time I pass a situation when I would usually drink. However, I will be splitting equally between:

• Macmillan Cancer Research
• The Halow Project
• World Land Trust
• Epilepsy Action

Please read more about these wonderful charities on their links.

I'll keep you updated....

Eight Online Gurls Worth Stalking

I've been working so much recently that my evenings haven't been filled with the sort of sparkling shenanigans that usually grace these pages*. So I've decided to write a post that I've been meaning to for a while on the beauteous women of the internet. The fiercest tribe of womanhood wit, repartee and just damn humour that keep me clicking, liking, scrolling, tweeting and just generally abusing the www until my thumb aches. These gurls inspire me to write better, banter quicker, live more and just generally be the types that they are. They all blog or write to some degree (though some are also marv on twitter) and they're 90% Brit, because I'm patriotic like that. Generally though they just put life into succinct snippets that are digestible over your lunch hour or during a particular dull day at your desk. So subscribe, like and follow etc etc and I promise your life will be rosy.. Or at least you'll feel that someone else says it like you may think it. 

Superlatively Rude
@superlativelylj

Laura Jane Williams is my soul girl. She writes from the heart. From her sex life to her job situation all of it flows with warmth warmth warmth. She's cynical and sarcastic and talks about vaginas, yet the most earnest person ever and totally not afraid to say how she feels. Totally my kind of woman. She recently did a whole fitness body makeover kinda thing after being a "fat" girl for years... All of it was documented and she never lost her voice. 

On Instagram she posts pics of her enjoying London and heartfelt quotes that somehow she never makes corny- how does she do that!

She also gave up a regular job to go traveling round Europe recently. I mean, the fire! <3 

60 Postcards

@60Postcards

Rachel, Rachel- actually started her blog for a reason and with a big project and then less than a year later she got a a book deal. And she bloody deserved it. It's unusual for blogs I read to actually have a point. Rachel lost her Mum to cancer, very quickly and she left her a ticket to Paris and she used it and started the 60 postcards journey. It was an admirable feat that left her leaving postcards (60) with messages around Paris and then waiting to hear the response. It became an international journey where she made friends and inspired people along the way. And obvs got a book deal.

These days she writes about other admirable ideas or causes as well as updates on her own life. 

I dare you not to get involved in the 60 postcard journey once you read about it...

It was Against Her Better Judgment

@Blonde_M

I'm not sure what Blonde's name is I just know she's bloody cool and she writes in that succinct, observation of life kind of way that I so admire and so can't do.

From stories about her life to what she reads it's all with the controlled loquaciousness that perhaps Bridget Jones would of had if she had a few less Chardonnays and channeled a smidgen more Anna Wintour/Beyoncé.

Horses, courses, men and novels. What more could you want. On twitter she's dry as fuck. How I lurveee that. 

Girl Lost in the City

@girlostincity

It's hard for me not to put the entire Debrief staff on this list (there's two(ish) of them on it) because quite frankly, they're all fucking fabulous. But Emma Gannon (Social Media Editor at Debrief) writes one of those to-the-point blogs that you just gotta read. Whether it's on social media, the pay gap or marriage, she talks about it, like you'd talk.. you know. 

Bloody amazing on twitter too. To the point and not too up her arse to fangirl Zoella, cos that's what we all wanna do really. We want to talk about serious shit then get excited about what we're having for lunch. Biggggg stalking love. 

Marawilsonwritesstuff

@MaraWritesStuff

Otherwise known as Maltida and the little girl from Mrs Doubtfire and Miracle on 34th Street, Mara is now a fiery, smartcastic writer with an attitude. I'm new to her musings but all know is she's hilarious on twitter and the bits of her writing I have read are to the point yet really intelligent. Take her piece on OCD, as an on-and-off sufferer, it's really impressive to me that she write about it with such clarity and no hysteria. 

Also she's just one of those girls who dismisses the haters with a cool, clean nonchalance. 

LLG
+Liberty London Girl 
@LibertryLndnGirl

I feel a bit bad putting Sasha on this list like she's a newbie because she is the one who introduced the concept of blogging to me. I've read her blog since I basically knew what one was and despite her immense success she still does it with calm class. Writing on fashion, events, cooking, her life, her friends it's all casual and engaging. Unlike some lifestyle bloggers who seem to live the life of dreams  with no awareness or gratitude for what they are so lucky to have, you know with Sasha that she's working her arse off, but she loves it. Also she always says when she's been guested or comped by someone.

And she's bloody stylish and I just wanna go for a glass of champagnne with her and talk about how she did it. My idol.

PandoraSykes.Com
@PINSykes

Pandora Sykes should be one of those girls that jelly bitch girls hate... incredible wardrobe and figure, good haircut, oh so fashion forward and yet bloody intelligent, but she's not. 

She was Fashion Editor at the Debrief (there's the other one), but has moved to Sunday Times Style as Fashion Features editor, big hurrah. She bloody deserves it (not at all simmering, I'm all gal power me).

The thing with Pandora is, it's more than one read. Because basically she's a wordsmith too. Fucking love her instagram pics and her satirical comments on life.

Love London (Formerly This Little Lady)
+LOVE_LONDON 
@Love_London

JJ Miller know lots about London and she tells us all about it with ease and modesty. She just your mate, you know. I'd always take her restaurant and bar reccs. And the fact that she has lived with CFS and Fibromyalgia (look it up it's bloody horrendous to live with and basically means chronic pain) for the last few years is just an additional fact. Because she writes about well-being and happinesss from a place that really understands and values it. Her posts make me happy and appreciate my life and then she chucks in a sample sale or an unknown London event and I love her even more.

Big kisses to JJ.

So these my gurllllssss yeah. Go and stalk them and read their bloody amazing writing, because they're all class.

PS: Hope none of them are too offended by my stalker tendencies... I'm just a fangirl ya know

On Still Being An Inbetweener

Firstly I'd like to point out that the original series of The Inbetweeners started in 2008 when I was neither a teenager, nor male, however certainly identified with that late-teenage claw through life. Time was when everything was a potential embarassment or fuck-up and you really didn't know whether you were coming or going. Whether it was cringe-worthy encounters with the opposite sex, the endless quest for "cool" or the feeling of being slightly out of place in every possible situation.

I also identified greatly with the sentiment of the "Inbetweener", halfway between childhood and adulthood and not really sure if you want to be either. The thing is now in my *cough late twenties, I would have assumed that my "Inbetweener" stage was over and I'd be well into my adjusted adult phase where everyday life was a breeze and my problems were only important, real things like death and taxes.

I have since discovered that is not the case.

Desperately Seeking Banksy: Part One

 

About six months ago, I bought the Banksy London App on my iPhone for the princely sum of £1.99 with the full intention of channelling my outer (not inner) mainstream-graffiti-artist-loving self and challenging said self to walk around and see every single one. 

Because they're in the city that I live in and because it's important to break up the bed-tube-international coffee chain-office-pub-bed routine that we commuters all indulge in; whilst ignoring fabulous, touristy, sparkly London. 

Sometimes in life you just gotta take a deep breath and get out at Piccadilly Circus, ignore the cringe, buy a paper day travel card and stand stationary in the middle of Oxford Street. Go on, I dare you.

Plus the reason I love Banksy is that he is challenging and subversive and satirical, whilst still being popular. So it's OK to be a little touristy right.. 

Big Italian Balls at Belpassi Bros

The Greeks call it meraki I believe, a beautiful word, my Greek friend smiled when I asked her what it meant... "oh" she said, "but there's no English word for this.". The definition is lightly: 

to leave a piece of yourself (your soul, creativity, or love) in your work. When you love doing something, anything, so much that you put something of yourself into it. 

She said, "like cooking with meraki, it's from your soul, yes?"

And here's the point I'm making as I skip from Greece to Italy, because the Belpassi Bros restaurant concept has been created, strategised and now physically cooked by twins Lorenzo and Livio Belpassi with pure meraki. 

Put Out the Light & Buy a Poppy

On Monday night at 10pm, I turned off all my lights and lit candles for an hour. I sat in darkness and watched most of the World War I Centenary remembrance service and this year is certainly an important one.

In our unsettled times as conflict rages around the world, though not in our own backyards', it is important to remember the World Wars. I'm sure that those who relatives are employed in the armed forces feel this even more deeply.

July Lust List

It is summer and so I shouldn't really think about shopping, more about sunning and lying and reading. Why do more people not have outside beds? Anyway, this is a new series - the monthly Lust List. Basically, just things I want... a wide variety of things really.. Here we go

The Nether at Royal Court

I can't use a witty title for this one because honestly The Nether by by Jennifer Haley was one of the most disturbing yet absorbing plays I've seen in a while. Following the recent spat of celebrities, politicians and more who have been uncovered as paedophiles after years of cover-ups and enabling by "those who didn't tell"; this play's subject is right at the heart of the public conscience at the moment. 

Its subject matter however is not really paedophilia, though the most horrifying of crimes is the vehicle used to lead the audience to the questions it asks; namely, on the Internet and virtual reality and morality. 

In summary, the Nether is set in a future where the Internet or the Nether as it is now called is an entire immersive world where people can log in and exist (much like The Matrix) in a virtual reality with their own chosen persona or avatar. Here they can live out their fantasies as they cannot in real life, look like they want, be with who they want and create realities that are the most aesthetically pleasing to them; a virtual wonderland if you will. For the reality that now exists in the play's present time is a grey world with no trees or natural spaces. 

The play focuses around a character named Sims or 'Pa' in the Nether who has created a server that is unreadable by the loose authority that polices the Nether, yet they know what goes on there. In the primary scene he is being interviewed by a Detective Morris, unsure how he has been found out.

The action switches between the present interviews, with Sims and another character Doyle as Detective Morris questions them endlessly about the goings on in the Nether and in particularly "Pa's" Victoriana throwback, the Hideaway to goings on in the actual Hideaway.

Here is where the play becomes magnificent really, because the set design and lighting takes us into a truly beautiful world, where there's green and trees everywhere and hyper colours and lightness. The Hideaway is almost abnormally beautiful and the use of light displays that show the matrix beneath it are also impressive.

Here we meet "Iris" - one of four children who live in the Hideaway to service the needs and pleasures of those who visit; "Pa" and another visitor "Woodnut" who seems to fall in love with Iris. The play continues from here as the characters nuances are shown and we get to grips with the question of whether such virtual behaviour helps or hinders these type of people when they go about in their in-world (real) lives. Does it not cause them to want to behave like this more? Additionally, Jennifer Haley has made the adult behind avatar Iris, in-love with Pa... which confuses us further.

"I've read the studies. No one has been able to draw a conclusive correlation between virtual behaviour and behaviour in-world."- Sims/Pa

The Guardian* subtitle says, Does inclination pre-exist exposure? This is again one of the questions that has continuously reappeared when referencing online and gaming behaviour, but the influence, the influence though.. there must be some the papers shout. I would hasten to agree with this even though nothing has yet been concretely proved it.

I was uncomfortable throughout the play, with the subject matter, with the young girl actress who played Iris (Isabella Pappas on my performance) being so affectionate with these old men. The production forces you to confront this fear and discomfort. 

However, to me, what it is really about is philosophy - if you make a certain choice or do a certain thing that is wrong - even in a virtual world, you have still performed this act. The tree has fallen in the forest even if you do not see it or hear it. That is my opinion. That is all. Others would disagree. There's also always disagreement about what is right and wrong, so there's that too. 

I would give the production, script, acting and especially set and lighting five stars and fully recommended The Nether. Expect to be blown away though.. I think I came away from it a little more fearful, a little more aware and winded by our current world.

The Nether is at the Royal Court until August 9th 

Images are (c) Johan Persson 

*The comments on this Guardian article show how much the subject riles