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Tuesday, 22 July 2014

What's Happn'd to Me? Another F***king Dating App...


It all started with a column in the Saturday Telegraph... A new dating app they said... From Paris they said... So so much better than Tinder they said. A tap and a click and an entering of my iTunes password (why when it's free BTW) and here I am reordering my pictures and waiting. Waiting to cross paths with someone.... 


The premise behind Happn is that it's for those lost chances in love. A man on the tube that you haven't the courage to talk to. A woman you admired whilst on your lunch break. It brings up on a feed everyone you cross paths with, as well as mentioning when and where you crossed paths with them. Once you click on your profile you can see further photos and anything they might have written a about themselves.

Like Tinder you can then cross or heart them and it only informs you if you have both clicked on the heart because the it's a crush and you can message each other. If you cross them they won't come up in your feed again nor you in theirs. Oh there's also charms which you can send or receive from people who you haven't hearted and it's basically like an old school Facebook poke. Hi I'm here, look at me! 


I'm quite enjoying the amount of quite beautiful men that I apparently pass every day. I have yet to see evidence of them if I'm honest... It also terrifies me that it has a function which ensures that it measures how many times you have crossed their path. I have crossed path with Marco, the bar manager at a pub v near work five times. Except I haven't, I've not been in, I've just walked past. 

Location accuracy is not my only issue with Happn, I'm a little worried about the stalking possibilities. People you've not even glanced at on your feed, yet not been disturbed enough to X could just longer there reappearing, working out your route as you happily go about life and basically stalking you..


So why is it still on my Home Screen after one week, in all its blue love hearted, irksomely spelt glory? Because basically I'm a romantic. I love the thought of someone admiring you from a far and you them and it all working out. 

Think about the potential. If Cinderella had Happn, she wouldn't need no glass slipper bitches... Plus I'm kinda addicted.. 

PS: The only person I've hearted ergo immediate crush was when I was on a weekend away in New Forest. He was 25 and farmery and unable to stalk me... clearly still got issues.

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