Monday, 30 March 2015

Dear Women

A few weeks ago, on International Women's Day, I had another mild disagreement with a friend about feminism, where I had to cave and bite my tongue for fear of launching into an angry shouty, tirade which would defeat my purpose entirely. 

I thought you see, as I think every day that we'd moved forward, that at least middle-class, educated women living a cushy life in the UK's capital would understand that they couldn't not be feminist. Or that I couldn't understand how they could live in our world and not be one. 

I understand that the word has still held onto some bad branding, perhaps I should talk about being egalitarian instead... But to me it is not about everybody being equal, it is about having equal social, political and economic rights - all of us. For we are not all equal, as Osho said, nobody is superior, nobody is inferior, we are each unique and incomparable, and wonderful because of it. 

But if you are a woman who identifies as "not a feminist", it surely means you support the view that men as a collective are better and more valuable than you. Deserve more. Can dictate and control our entire sex. How can you think that? How can anyone man or woman, think that? Why is anyone superior?

So I decided to write a letter to every woman to illustrate what I want for them, for us, for men. After you've read it, please tell me that you still don't need feminism. 

Dear Women,

How are you, you marvellous creators you?

I wanted to tell you a few things that I really want for you, maybe you could tell me if you want them too...

I wish that you will not always be judged by your looks as if that is all you have to give. I also hope that you will be able to wear what you would like with no backlash or judgement. Wear make up or don't, whatever makes you feel your best. Men too.

I want you to be able to walk on your cities streets on your own without feeling ashamed, embarrassed or fearful. I don't want you to suffer rape or sexual abuse because you are a woman and others feel they are entitled to your body.

I want governments and economies to support you, to realise that you have as much to give as a man and to show this through wage and economic equality.

I want you to be able to vote if you want to, to decide things about the country you live in. 

I want you to concentrate on being mothers if you want to and raise your sons and daughters just the same.

Or be sports stars if you want to, write books, run countries or sew and bake if that's your thing. 

I pray that you have choice. I hope that you can do one thing or everything you want.

I want you to embrace your powerful female self as different from a man, but just as fabulous and important.

I wish that you would be allowed to be strong and show emotion, be kind, courageous, loud and quiet too. 

I want people to believe you're fucking funny, because you are...

I never want you to suffer any rituals or hardships because of your sex. 

I don't want you to think that the men in your lives always have to be strong or brave or tough either and I want you to realise that there is a balance in the expectations you place on them and that it is likely to come out in the way they treat you.

I want your bursting brains to be considered.

I don't want you to judge each other anymore... Not pretty enough, married enough pregnant enough, a bad feminist, a slut, a home wrecker. 

I don't want the media to write about your clothes and your boyfriends' as an example of your character. 

I want you to remember that we all descended from a single cell and all carry that same energy inside us. 

I don't want there to have to be "Women in... " groups" or positive discrimination. But I understand that right now there may need to be. 

I don't want you to have to pay tax on tampons. 

I want you to be proud and not ashamed of your bodies, whatever shape you are. I want you to value health and be proud of what you can do with your greatest gift.

I really want you to be aware and care about other men and women around the world and fight for their causes as much as your own. 

I want you to be able to talk about sex and have sex, without feeling ashamed. 

I want men and women's biological differences to be celebrated, not criticised or hidden or squashed because we feel they dictate entirely who we are. 

Most of all though, I want us all to realise our individual powers, desires, strength and wisdom and to use them to become our greatest selves. For if we do this, we can fill ourselves with compassion and realise that we are all part of one living breathing species and working together with compassion, we can achieve whatever the hell we like. 

Because feminism is just a word darlings in whatever language you speak, thought by the brains and egos spoken by the mouth, but joy is in our souls and we cannot achieve it whilst we squash and dismiss each other. 

If you can argue with this, then let me know.

All the Love Always x

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